March 21 – April 3rd, 2020
Day 529 – 542
Hopefully for Mathilde and I, the time runing from one place to another is over. Françoise gently lend us her apartment where we can stay during the lockdown time.
So basically, we stayed there for about 2 weeks. Cooking, resting, sewing, reading, watching movies, sleeping, calling friends, calling family and thinking….
The situation is not only going bad in china and Europe. It is a global thing now. And with that, I have to take the decision of weither or not I will come back, or not.
It was probably the hardest choice to take for me in my life, after the one where I chose to leave on this trip. I know the situation is unique and obviously rules doesnt applies the same way as usual. But here is my thinking :
Reasons I want to stay :
- I hate the fact to take a plane to come home. After many research, the boats are in the same situation than everybody else: they dont move. And if they move, it means I would have to pass borders. And they are all closed for now.
- For me, this trip is not over yet. I still have so much I wanna do.
Reasons I want to leave :
- This situation could last a few weeks, a few months, … I cannot predict it.
- Unfortunately, if the lockdown continue to last for more than a few months, I dont feel that I could withstand it. Mathilde decided to go home no matter what. This means I would have to be alone during all this time. And , emotionally, I dont feel like it.
I thought about it for days. I tried to write down my thought. I talk about it to friends to have some exterior advices. And after a long time thinking, I decided… to go home.
There are several reasons for that. The main one is probably that nobody knows how long this situation will last. And even when the lockdown will be ended, I will still have to wait for the border to reopen, and then people might still be very cautious.
And I am not ready to wait in the same place for 2-3 months without moving. Especially not alone.
For me in my trip, I value the human interaction, by hitchhiking for example. And with this pandemic, It is not possible anymore, in terms of regulation but also for health reasons . Everybody is afraid and nowaday is not a good time to meet new people and travel.
My biggest regret in all this will be that I will take a plane to go home. In a way, I feel like it is kind of a failure
I know what you are probably thinking. This is a special time in history and sometimes you dont have a choice. Well I technically still have a choice.
But it is how it is. I made my choice and I will assume my decision
I took this choice and hope that I will not regret it sooner or later.